“Let Him Run…” This phrase of Cowboy Talk is common during rodeo/playday events. It’s the audience’s way of saying, “give the reins more slack and let that horse run!” My boys are 6 (almost 7) and 8 years old. I think I have always struggled with letting them explore freely, wrestle til there’s blood and climb on haystacks, but it seems to be hitting me especially hard lately.
They’ve both recently shown interest in all kinds of activities and Derek and I are working hard to encourage, yet maintain balance in our home. Holton expressed interest in riding Taco in the local playday. I told my husband, “he’s interested–let’s foster it!” Excited for the day to arrive, we all headed out to the arena. Keep in mind, I made the boys ride with a lead rope until I could no longer justify it! This is a big jump for me.
I begin to visually create in my mind what’s about to happen and start getting nervous about all that could possibly go wrong. As the hour approached for Holton to ride, I found myself becoming more and more emotional. I finally broke and shed a few tears while expressing to Derek how hard it is to watch the boys grow up. I’m still not sure all that prompted such emotions, but I know they were real and they were raw. Holton’s turn approaches, he nervously awaits in the alley and then his worst nightmare came true. Taco had other plans rather than heading straight down, slowing down slightly for H to grab the flag, and then safely returning to the gate. Holton was devastated after the performance did not go as well as practice, and was left feeling a little scared after Taco decided to make a mad dash back to the gate.
I found myself hurting for him. He likes things done correctly (the first time). I can’t imagine where he got this idea! 🙂 What I learned is that I’m going to have to “Let Him Run.” Even though it’s so hard to watch these little fellas grow up, it’s what I’m training them to do-grow up. And even when they fail, it’s so important to teach in that moment what’s REALLY important which is that he tried and again showed bravery and courage. What a remarkable kid…! So, we’ll get ’em next time and until our next challenge, I’m going to work on letting go a little more and enjoying the ride called Motherhood. Go get ’em, boys…!